Welcome back to another movie review!! Can’t believe I’ve already done 20 of these reviews. Time truly flies when you’re having fun. As I’ve heard African aunties say, “If you like do, If you like don’t do. Now you know” Translation: do whatever you like, it’s not my business. Well hopefully, you’ll check out my other posts, but if not it’s all good. Anypoops without further ado, this week’s film on the chopping block is none other than Beanpole. Once again I decided to go in blind when choosing ALL the movies for both April and May. This way no one can say my choices are biased, but so far this has proven disastrously interesting. That being said I would not have voluntarily watched Beanpole.
I noted that the film was NR or not rated. I didn’t understand what that meant, so I googled it. After watching it I understood why the director refused to have it rated. The movie, by today’s standards, may be viewed in theaters but at an X rating. Not that I’m a complete prude, but there’s a sex scene that I don’t agree with. It may as well have been rape because, in my eyes, it wasn’t welcomed by either party. If you’re already as turned off as I was I wouldn’t blame you if you stopped reading here. The film overall is pretty bleak as a consequence of war. Now it let’s get. Lol.

At the end of the year and end of World War 2 in Leningrad, Russia,
the scene opens with what sounds like someone being strangled, but no. It’s just Iya or Dylda having another one of her frozen episodes. A result of an injury she incurred from her time playing a ‘supporting role’ on the front lines. Like many other girls her age, Iya earned her keep, stayed alive, and eventually returned home by ‘servicing’ soldiers. But in Iya’s case, she was invalided out due to severe head trauma that left her immobile and unaware of the world around her. Obviously, she’s a danger to herself and anyone who would pull her to safety. So off to the hospital full of wounded heroes she goes, but not empty-handed.
Iya returns home with her friend, Masha’s only child, Pashka. Masha sent Pashka with Iya as an infant, so she’s never seen him since birth. I can imagine that while she was on the war front Pashka was the only thing that kept her alive and the only reason she made it home. Unfortunately, shortly before our other battle-harden heroine returned home Pashka died. The shrapnel is further embedded as she is unable to produce any more children as a result of the many, many abortions in the line of duty. So Masha is justified when she seeks restitution. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a child for a child.

During the war a lot is permissible. There are no hard lines, and no one says anything if little Anya disappears. Almost everyone has done something worthy of prison to survive. The real villain is war, but in this case, I think Sasha might be liable for playing a very minor role. Lol. He and his rat bastard friend, who is not named, were out on the prowl. Looking for girls who had nothing to lose, who would give up their bodies for food. Lyubov, Sasha’s mother, had her scummy son pegged correctly. Like his mother said he’s never known a hard life. So it made me wonder if he’d gone to war, but chances are high he didn’t. Or at least he wasn’t among the many wounded soldiers. That’s because my guy is loaded! Rich! War brings out the worst in all of us. So he probably thought ‘This was a war that might never end, and I may never get my rocks off because- heck who knows tomorrow? Why not?’ Also, I will note my guy’s not the best-looking. Had times been normal Masha probably wouldn’t have looked twice at him and he knows it. That might be why he was okay with being used.

Sidenote: In the hospital (or even the front line) what kind of doctoring can they possibly do? Besides bloodletting, amputating gangrenous limbs, and stitching up wounds. Wartime doctors weren’t known for sanitary practices. It is a known fact that soldiers died more from doctor ministrations. Or maybe I just pulled that factoid out of the air. Anypoops, compared to today’s technology their methods back then pale tremendously. But I guess any help is better than no help right?

I personally hate this film, and I don’t recommend watching it when you’re already down. But I’ve got to give Beanpole its flowers. To do otherwise would be an affront to its commitment to remain brutally honest about the uglies of war and its originality. I haven’t seen another film like it and don’t want to.

Anypoops, I give Beanpole a fresh rose out of Quing Mirai’s private garden. Never again. Got to rinse my eyes out with something positive.