Nǐ hǎo!! Welcome to another weekly Movie and TV Review! This week we’re looking at the animated film Nezha, a family-friendly comedy apparently based on the book Investiture of the Gods. I’ll be honest this is the first time I’ve heard of it as I’m not really into Chinese culture like that. But after this, I’ll look into it. I might even watch the live-action drama by the same name. But anypoops, it’s a well-needed change from the past few depressing movies I had living rent-free in my head. A heavy film, Nezha follows a family of three or technically five, but the two elder sons are MIA. Lol. I digress. Disgruntled disciple and catman, Shen Gongbao, intentionally gave newborn Nezha the demon Chaos Pearl after he was overlooked by Supreme Lord Yuanshi Tianzun for his slovenly counterpart, Taiyi Zhenren. Our great Lord Yuanshi Tianzun, in his great wisdom, also cursed said Chaos Pearl to be destroyed in three years, so the bearer or incarnate of the pearl is a goner. If I had to give an elevator pitch it would be a mix of Jesus, Hercules, Harry Potter, and Naruto thrown together with a few plot holes. Now let’s get it!!!!!!

Set in the magical land of ancient China or a China-like land called Chentang Pass, we meet Lord Li Jing and his very pregnant bride, Lady Yin on the verge of welcoming their third son, Nezha. After three years of pregnancy Lady is finally about to give birth and fulfill heaven’s prophecy. But Shen Gongbao switches the Spirit Pearl for the Chaos Pearl and dives 20,000 leagues under the sea.      

One day in heaven is one year on Earth. The power harnessed in the Chaos Pearl sped up Nezha’s growth, gave him genius-level intelligence, and brute strength. Technically Nezha is only three years old, but when released from his chains, similar to pearl-brother Ao Bing, his true form revealed a boy about the age of sixteen. In a flashback, the movie showed him as a baby interacting with townfolks. I assume that was the time his father was away in the heavens looking for a way to cancel the curse, so how do we measure his growth? Was his bound form as child his true form had he been a normal kid? I’m so confused!! Lol.

I wondered what his character would have been like had he been given the Spirit Pearl at birth, but then I thought he would’ve been as basic as Ao Bing. My question then became why wasn’t Ao Bing as spicy as Draco Malfoy? Lucius Malfoy drizzled hatred into Draco like nobody’s business, so if Ao Bing’s father, the dragon lord, hated Supreme Lord Yuanshi and his situation so much why wasn’t Ao Bing affected? Why wasn’t he calling Nezha an earth-bound mudblood (pun intended)?

Not to mention his Sifu is the very ninja that got him and Nezha into this predicament, Peter Pettigrew, I mean Shen Gongbao. Was it the purity of Spirit Pearl that left him untouched by their influence?

Despite its many problems, Nezha was a good movie. It was comedic and dare-I-say heartwarming. I’m becoming soft. Lol. It had the classic Naruto never-give message that never fails to charge me up for the next life battle. Overall I enjoyed the film.

Anypoops, I give Nezha 3 out of 5 rose petals.

P.S. I’m sorry guys there’s no excuse for the late posting. Hopefully, this won’t happen again. I will do better, and work my movie time around my work schedule. I should work hard for others but not for myself? Absolutely not!! Fight!!!